The Root of Bitterness and the Grace of Forgiveness

“The heart knows its own bitterness” (Prov. 14:10).

There are pains carried deep within the human heart that no other person can fully comprehend. Even those closest to us may only see the outward expression of inward sorrow. Hidden wounds, disappointments, betrayals, fears, and griefs often remain buried beneath the surface. Solomon reminds us that each heart carries its own bitterness, known fully only to the Lord.

We live in a time where bitterness easily takes root. Political strife divides families and congregations. Financial pressures create anxiety and resentment. Emotional wounds from rejection, abandonment, betrayal, or misunderstanding linger long after the moment has passed. Many carry silent pain that has never truly been brought into the healing light of the Lord’s presence.

Scripture warns us carefully about the danger of allowing bitterness to remain unchecked: “See to it that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Heb. 12:15). Bitterness is rarely stagnant. Like a hidden root beneath the soil, it grows quietly and spreads deeply. What begins as a wound can become resentment. Resentment can become anger. Anger can eventually poison relationships, distort judgment, and harden the heart.

The tragedy is that bitterness rarely harms only the one who carries it. It spreads outward into families, friendships, congregations, and communities. A bitter spirit often creates more pain than the original wound itself.

This is why the apostle Paul exhorts believers so strongly: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31–32; cf. Col. 3:13).

Forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness.

Not superficial forgiveness that simply ignores pain, but forgiveness deeply rooted in faith in Messiah. The forgiveness extended to us through Christ becomes the foundation from which we learn to release others. We forgive because we ourselves have been forgiven. We release because the Lord has released us from a far greater debt (Matt. 6:14-15, Lk. 7:47).

This does not mean wounds are unreal. Scripture never minimizes pain. Hannah is a powerful example of this truth. In 1 Samuel 1:10, she “wept bitterly” under the crushing shame and anguish of barrenness. Her pain was real. Her sorrow was deep. Yet Hannah did not surrender herself to bitterness. She brought her grief, petition, and tears before the Lord. Rather than allowing pain to harden her heart, she poured out her soul in prayer.

There is a profound difference between carrying pain to the Lord and feeding bitterness within ourselves.

This fallen world constantly presents opportunities for bitterness to take hold internally and externally, and the enemy of our soul would like nothing more than to feed a bitter root buried deep within us. Broken relationships, disappointments in ministry, injustice, false accusations, unmet expectations, and personal suffering can all become excuses for allowing bitterness to grow. But this is not what we have been redeemed for. The Lord did not call us out of darkness so that we might become prisoners of resentment.

Instead, we are called to become tenderhearted people shaped by mercy, humility, and forgiveness.

Even suffering itself can become a sanctifying instrument in the hands of the Lord. J.C. Ryle wisely wrote:

“Be patient under the bitterness of the gates of hell. It is all working together for your good. It tends to sanctify. It keeps you awake. It makes you humble. It drives you nearer to the Lord Jesus Christ. It weans you from the world. It helps to make you pray more. Above all, it makes you long for heaven, and say with heart as well as lips, ‘Come, Lord Jesus.’”

What a needed reminder. The Lord does not waste our suffering. Even bitter experiences can become means by which He draws us closer to Himself.

If bitterness has begun to take root in your heart, do not nourish it. Bring it honestly before the Lord, confess it where needed, and bring it into His marvelous light. Lay the wound before Him in prayer as Hannah did. Ask the Holy Spirit to uproot resentment before it grows deeper. Choose forgiveness, even when emotions lag behind obedience. Trust that the grace of God is sufficient not only to forgive sin, but also to heal wounded hearts.

The Lord alone fully knows the bitterness of every heart, and the same Lord alone is able to heal it, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps. 147:3). 

Maranatha. Shalom. 

So You Messed Up!

It was the 8th day (Sh’mini), the day of renewal and new beginnings. Aaron and his sons had been consecrated, and they were now adorned in their vestments. They have watched Moses set up and take down the Tabernacle for seven consecutive days. They know the pattern. They know their duty. Yet, the rabbis discern a hesitation in Aaron. We read in Leviticus 9:6-8:

וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה, זֶה הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר-צִוָּה יְהוָה תַּעֲשׂוּ–וְיֵרָא אֲלֵיכֶם, כְּבוֹד יְהוָה

“And Moses said, “This is the thing that the Lord commanded you to do, that the glory of the Lord may appear to you.” Continuing: “Then Moses said to Aaron, “Draw near to the altar and offer your sin offering and your burnt offering and make atonement for yourself and for the people, and bring the offering of the people and make atonement for them, as the Lord has commanded.” So Aaron drew near to the altar and killed the calf of the sin offering, which was for himself” (Lev. 9:6-8).

The last time Aaron had acted as a leader and priest he failed. The memory of the Golden Calf was all too fresh in his mind. Could he really stand as the high priest of Israel now? קְרַב אֶל-הַמִּזְבֵּחַ , “Draw near to the altar” Moses says, and the glory of God will appear (Ex. 40:34-38) when you, Aaron, do what He has commanded.

But with the eyes of Israel upon him, knowing his sin, could he actually walk out his calling as high priest?

“But go, tell His disciples, and Peter…” (Mk. 16:7).

“And Peter,” two little words. One, a conjunction, the other, a proper noun. Yet, these two little words are powerful, restorative, and they allow us to see the forgiving heart of Messiah Yeshua/Jesus.

When the angel tells Mary to report Yeshua’s resurrection to the disciples, he is sure to mention Peter.

We all know Peter denied Yeshua (Mk. 15:66-72), his denial disqualified him. Peter attempted to stand for Yeshua in his own strength. His strength failed. This was Peter’s mistake. Peter lacked the strength to stand against a simple question or assertion. This strong and gruff man fell by the words of a young girl.

I am sure most of you are familiar with Peter’s restoration in John 21:15-17; but Yeshua already revealed His plan for restoration, even before Peter’s repentance: “and Peter.”

Before Peter could announce the Gospel to Jerusalem in Acts 2, to Gentiles in Acts 10, and defend the inclusion of those who should be excluded in Acts 15, Peter, the one who should be excluded, was not only included, but was used mightily. Peter personally experienced the power of Messiah’s restoration. Now he could live and share it.

When Aaron drew near the altar, even in his hesitation, he demonstrated before all the eyes of Israel that the Lord forgave him as His glory filled the Tabernacle. They would see, in the life of a forgiven sinner, the power of God’s forgiveness and restoration.

So you messed up. So he, she, they messed up. So I messed up. Paul writes, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Ro. 3:23). Even Paul messed up. Learn to say, “tell his disciples and ______ …” put your name in there, personalize it, remember His forgiveness is for you.

Dear reader, every week I stand before people or minister to or lead people around the world knowing full well that I’m the biggest of screw ups in His Kingdom. Yet as with Aaron, Peter, and everyone else He has called, I was drawn near, saved, forgiven and renewed by the blood of the Lamb. With the memories of my screw ups still fresh, I minister His Good News, as a recipient of it, not its author.

When you feel too disqualified to qualify to respond to His calling, as Moses told Aaron, “Draw near to the altar and the glory of God will appear.” Draw near to Messiah, His glory will appear, and He will use you for His glory. You can and will live it, and then share the Gospel, again, not as its author, but as a recipient of it.

He will make new your mess, and it will become His message in you.

Be well. Shalom.