‎וַיְדַבֵּר יְהוָה, אֶל-מֹשֶׁה לֵּאמֹר
‎שְׁלַח-לְךָ אֲנָשִׁים, וְיָתֻרוּ אֶת-אֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן, אֲשֶׁר-אֲנִי נֹתֵן, לִבְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל: אִישׁ אֶחָד אִישׁ אֶחָד לְמַטֵּה אֲבֹתָיו, תִּשְׁלָחוּ–כֹּל, נָשִׂיא בָהֶם

“The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel. From each tribe of their fathers you shall send a man, every one a chief among them” (Num. 13:1-2).

I am my own worst critic. Not unusual. I do, however, remember when the view of myself changed dramatically. I was publicly humiliated by a person in authority, with language that echoed in my heart and mind for years. I maintained my stoic demeanor outwardly, but inwardly I was crushed. I had been out late pursuing my dream of music, and fell asleep in first period study hall. A sin of the highest order, apparently.

For many years after, the inner landscape of my life looked dismal. Fears became insurmountable mountains. Dreams and ambitions a wasteland; and “we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight” (Num. 13:33). Not only did I see the limitations of my life, everyone else, in my estimation, did as well. The power of words.

The Lord directs Moses to send men of authority into the Promised Land to see what manner of men dwelled there, how the land was, and what the settlements were like (Num. 13:17-20). The men, 40 days later, bring a report and fruit of the land as evidence (Num. 13:25-27). They started with words affirming the goodness of the land and God’s Promise, but ended with discouraging words doubting Israel’s ability to overcome the inhabitants and to settle. The bad news was more immediate than the good news.

The response was immediate. The words of 10 of the 12 spies were persuasive enough for the exodus generation to doubt, and in doubt fall into mournful rebellion. The landscape of God’s promise became a dismal horizon.

The spies went beyond their purpose. Rather than seeing the land with hope, they examined it critically. Failing to remember that God would bless them, and the Promised Land, they saw only impossibility before them. Ten voices setting doubt over promise, shattered the lens through which they received God’s Word. As impassioned as Joshua and Caleb were in their rebuttal, the deep impact of fear, criticism and doubt triumphed over their words of faith.

The inspectors saw only the difficulty, and as a result, a generation was subject to a forty year day trip. Again, in their assessment they left God, His Promise and His Presence out. God was excluded.

In our own lives, we need Caleb’s and Joshua’s around us. People who will contend with those voices speaking in doubt to us, forgetting that it is God Who goes before us. Yes, there is difficulty ahead, but God … it is for Him to sort it and settle it.

I am thankful that in my life, even as painful as those words spoken 30 years ago were, that God had the last word. I often see only the dismal horizon in myself; but God has provided, not just two, but too numerous to recount, voices of affirmation of His Promise. Yes, the horizon I see is hard, it’s filled with rocks, roots, hazards of all sorts, but God. Not only do Caleb’s and Joshua’s surround me, but the Holy Spirit ministers the life of Messiah to me. Hallelujah!

What did Messiah say? “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (Jn. 16:33). His Promises the Holy Spirit ministers. The Word that holds all life together.

Dear reader, you are far more than your worst day, even your worst moment, and the worst thing you have ever done, because of Him. You are a fertile field of God’s Promise.

Be well. Shalom.